Original Timeline

aka The Apartment Nerds: Original Flavor The "original timeline" or "original draft" is how we refer to the earliest incarnation of The Apartment on 3rd Street. Certain events have been discarded or added to the current draft, certain characters altered. The chronology of the nerds' history was altered, but the events of the present day remains mostly the same. This article is strictly about the events of the original timeline (plus analysis of the differences between this timeline and the current timeline). Behind the scenes is more about character concepts and interpersonal dynamics.

general outline, pre-series
Carson is diagnosed when she's 12, and starts seeing her support group at 13. Joshua dies the summer before her junior year of high school when she's 14-15. She transfers to Sasha's school that following fall term and meets Sasha. They graduate together and go straight to college, where they both meet Luke. The next year they meet Mia, Ethan, and Blair. Lizzie comes into the fray when Carson is 21-22.

In the current timeline, Joshua doesn't die. so Carson goes through her high school year relatively normal, for a sick person.

Luke introduces himself to Carson and Sasha in class, mostly because he sees Sasha and goes "oh no she's cute." But poor Luke does catch on fairly quickly that Sasha doesn't swing his way.

I originally debated on making Luke/Sasha a couple really early on when I first started, mostly because they got along so well. Originally, only a few of the group were gay. Actually in its very first inklings, only Carson and Lizzie were gay... Sasha and Mia came next. Blair/Mia came later. Originally, Blair was only going to have a mild crush on Mia, while Mia kept going out with her nameless background girlfriend.

Carson & Sasha
They meet at a high school party in this timeline. Carson is invited by a mutual classmate. Carson’s first sight of Sasha is her standing on top a kitchen island and downing half a 40 in one go. Carson almost pees her pants from intimidation. She gets really uncomfortable during the party and tries to bail. Of course, her classmate tries to get her to stay and not be just a wallflower and offers her a drink. She doesn't hold alcohol well, so not long after, she's puking in the driveway from the social anxiety and alcohol, which is where Sasha finds her.

Sasha mostly talks while Carson sits there on the curb feeling anxious and miserable. And Sasha catches on to that... she's still drunk as heck but she sits down next to Carson, tries to strike up a conversation, but it's hard when one is drunk. Mostly she just sits there, sobers up a bit, and coaxes Carson out of her shell. While part of Carson's mind is telling her that Sasha is drunk and just spewing nonsense, she's also so far the only one who's struck up a conversation that feels semi-genuine, like Sasha is actually interested in getting to know her, like Sasha is trying to befriend her.

And Carson is so lonely... she's never felt close to any of the other chronically ill kids in her support group, despite being in it for years. Joshua felt like the only one who really cared. She loves her parents but they're her parents. sweet and caring but kind of helicopter parents... Sasha, in all her drunken state, took the time to sit down with her, ask her if she's okay, and how is she feeling about her new school and what was it like at her old one, what's her name, does she know anyone else, etc. Sasha has a way of making one-on-one conversations genuine, even when drunk. Sure, she partied a lot, got drunk a lot, hung out with some bad crowds, and ditched school and made a lot of mistakes... but she cared a lot about people. She didn't have a lot of friends but the ones she did have she was loyal to.

Carson tries to approach her the next day. Sasha doesn’t instantly recognize her, because she was drunk. It makes Carson look back on their conversation feeling a little cheaped out so she withdraws again. But Sasha is very keen! She recognizes that Carson’s feelings were hurt somehow and while it takes some coaxing, she manages to reassure Carson that whatever she said to her, she was being genuine.

Carson isn’t sure if she believes her or not but it’s Sasha. She is determined, and Carson intrigues her. Carson acts guarded but also has her heart on her sleeve. Sasha finds that interesting... nice, even. Carson also doesn’t jump to judge her, partly because she doesn’t know Sasha, so that makes it easier for Sasha. Carson’s a breath of fresh air to Sasha. She doesn’t give her platitudes, but she’s honest about her opinion and her feelings. If Sasha does something that makes her uncomfortable, she makes it known. If Sasha does something she likes, she’s quick to let her know. Sasha has never had a friend who just talks to her like that, who shares her feelings so honestly, even when it takes some digging. There’s no resentment of Sasha’s prodding.

When she's not on a high, Sasha is keenly aware of how differently people treat her now compared to before. There's a lot of walking on eggshells, and a lot of people who she thought cared about her started drifting from her. She doesn't have many friends by the time Carson comes around, or any, really.

Lizzie meets Sasha
"when i wrote the first draft, instead of being knocked out drunk on Carson's couch, Lizzie would wake up one morning to find Sasha, whom she had never met before, making breakfast for an ill Carson. she initially freaked out bc Carson was nowhere to be found (she was in her room being sick) and also who was this person and where did she come from and why was she here. Sasha would be kind of oblivious to Lizzie's freak out, but also friendly and offered to make Lizzie breakfast too. she did that for about 2 months. in contrast to Carson's amicable but aloof nature, Sasha was talkative, energetic, and easygoing, so Lizzie ended up with a minor crush on her" <2019/03/31>

Act 3
in the penultimate scene in the last act, Carson confronts Sadie and her groupies. Sadie's groupies have harassed Lizzie for several weeks/months, but Carson doesn't step in until this time, mostly because the harassment starts out minor and gradually increases, and because Lizzie doesn't let Carson know she's getting harassed.

Carson essentially gives a combo of "The Reason You Suck Speech/ Fuck You Speech" to Sadie and her social group for the harassment and abuse Lizzie receives following her unwilling outing. (in the current timeline, the proverbial punch is a lot tamer.) it’s this scene that gives Sasha clarity about Carson’s feelings. Sasha is used to Carson's mild demeanor and her dislike for confrontation. Carson is sweet and mellow, not outrageous like in that confrontation. it's the first time she sees Carson absolutely livid, so full of such a strong emotion. Carson likes being in the background, she doesn't grab for the spotlight but she confronts Sadie and her groupies head on in public and she's so angry and Sasha's never seen her that angry, but she's angry out of love and it just hits Sasha: "she's never been so emotional about someone, not even me."

in the first draft Lizzie wasn't there, because i felt like adding her to it was too crowded and dramatic? in the current draft she is, and the conversation is a lot tamer compared to the first draft, where Sadie and her group are a lot more callous. Carson isn't unashamed of going all out and metaphorically spitting in their faces

in the current timeline, rather than angry-yelling at them for being assholes, she mostly just calls them out for being jerks. and she specifically calls out Sadie for knowing that her groupies are hurting Lizzie and knowing it's wrong, but doing nothing to stop it, even tho it is a much gentler "the reason you suck" speech.

The background Sasha/Carsons
this earlier version of Sasha had a much more "volcanic" reaction to realizing that her romantic interest was moving on, though she doesn't show it in front of Carson. but whereas the current Sasha can tell Carson has feelings for Lizzie even before Carson realizes she's developing feelings, pre-Sasha was a more than a lil bit blindsided. it was a definite "oh shit she likes her. like, LIKES likes her." and whereas i would consider Luke is Sasha's best friend in the current timeline, Carson is Sasha's best friend in the first drafts. so it's a double whammy when she realizes that Carson might just be becoming closer to someone else. she's close to falling off the wagon

Carson's a private person in general. she's amicable and easygoing but surprisingly tight-lipped about her feelings. Sasha recognizes Carson likes Lizzie more than she realizes when she notices that the tension Carson almost always has in her shoulders is looser whenever Lizzie around, how her face lights up when she talks about Lizzie, how Carson tends to hover around her, how Carson tends to touch Lizzie almost all of the time... a hand on her shoulder, a hand over her back, by her elbow, helping her carry her things, leaning toward her direction.

even more so, it's how Carson talks about Lizzie when she's not there, when Sasha sees those flashes of fear in Carson's face, the look she knows when Carson feels particularly vulnerable, when she realizes she's letting someone in. there's not really a definite scene that stands out to Sasha, not in the current timeline anyway

in the current one Sasha's actually really proud and happy for Carson. it still hurts her that Carson is willing to go to such lengths for this new specific person, but she loves Carson... and she wants her to be happy. current timeline Sasha lost hope on having her feelings returned. first timeline, it was a combination of denial that Carson was moving on, and hoping she still had some chance. but Sasha had even less courage to confess--it's one thing to have been a drug addict before you meet someone, it's another to still be a druggie when you meet them... orz Sasha's shame about her addiction was more volatile in the first timeline. and on Carson's end, it was her illness, and because she lost Joshua. the emotions were just so much more raw. there was an even greater stake of feelings getting hurt.

Why the changes?
balance mostly. i wanted this book to be mellow if somber, and for my first book i really didn't want it to be heavier than it was? a lot of the elements are heavy, but i wanted them to be heavy in an understated way rather than to desensitized to the issues. too many dark aspects in a story can lead to Crapsack World Fatigue and i didn't want that for this book. if bad thing after bad thing after bad thing just continues to happen, a lot of readers just start feeling less affected. and while i do miss some of the olde elements, i love the kids how they are now and i feel the setting is a lot more balanced